Grief and Loss

Loss and grief are normal and something which every one of us will experience at points throughout our lives. Whether we are grieving for a parent, sibling, child or friend, or grieving the loss of a beloved pet, the loss we are feeling will be completely individual to us and the way we react to it will be unique to us alone in many ways. There are many types of loss which we may be expected to cope with. For example, the death of a loved one, loss of identity through something ending which has helped to mould and shape us, and illness which may be causing grief in different ways due to physical changes and therefore loss of independence. Whichever way grief is impacting, recognising what is happening and being able to understand it better can help with that process, as grieving is a process - not something to ‘get over.’

Loss is part of life, not something which happens to us. As stated previously, death isn't the only loss experienced, yet it is seen to be only loss we are ‘allowed’ to grieve over. Changes which involve a loss or transitional period can trigger the process of grief. Grief describes the pain and suffering experienced after a loss. Bereavement describes the reaction to the loss of a close relationship. Each loss experienced has an impact on the next in some way.

Grief reactions can involve deeply emotional responses, feeling the pain of the loss physically, behaviorally and mentally. There are differences in the way men and women grieve also, which can cause difficulties within relationships at times. Loss and grief can leave people feeling security and control has gone - causing feelings of being completely alone and helpless. During times of grief, we are left with a different sense of identity than before the loss, trying to understand our place and how we can move forward.

Although there are many different theories and models on loss and bereavement - showing how grief happens - grieving is not a fixed sequence of emotions which happens to us. Like the waves coming into the shore, there are times when the waves of grief come in hard and fast, washing over us, taking us by surprise and overwhelming us, and there are times the waves recede and although we are aware of them they are not affecting us greatly, simply lapping quietly in the background.

Through Counselling the opportunity to develop an understanding of what has been experienced in a safe space is provided. So often, those who are grieving feel they cannot talk to those around them for many different reasons. This may be because they don’t want to further upset others who are also grieving, or it may be that the people around them, although meaning well, don't allow them the chance to fully express themselves - how many times have you started talking about something and the person you’re with related it to them and the conversation becomes about them or their opinion.

Bereavement counselling can happen at any time during the grieving process - whether it is six months after the loss or six years later. The issues which may need addressing during counselling can vary from understanding the grief process to helping with coping with the pain from the loss and how to move forward from it, rebuilding new-identities and making new choices. This does not mean forgetting. Moving forward can be about finding a new and different way to integrate the loss that has been experienced into the new reality.

Hypnotherapy can also benefit people who are grieving. Grief can cause elevated stress levels, and leave sufferers feeling overwhelmed and being unable to concentrate. It’s also not uncommon for people to hide from their grief through the use of alcohol, food, or isolation.

The purpose of Hypnotherapy for grief is to allow you to take a deep breath and stop, connecting with your inner strength, and spending time encouraging calmness and peace for yourself, allowing the grieving process to happen at a pace that is right for you and helping you to reach a stage where you can enjoy memories of loved ones.

Tina People